Craft Suck Revisited

As the deadline for the craft swap loomed, I took on an attitude of i-don’t-care-if-i-even-get-anything-i-just-want-this-to-be-overwith. I also vowed never to participate in a swap again. What if they don’t like the color? What if they don’t wear scarves? Crap, they don’t like animal fibers. How many things do you put in the package? How much should you spend? What should I make? What if they don’t like pacman, or purses and they especially hate pacman and purses put together? Now what? Agonizing.

Blogger Meezermeowmy suggested I just make a feather and fan in cotton during my last rant. I found hempathy, a nicely draping cotton and hemp blend and did just that. I snapped some pictures of it and stuffed it in an envelope as if it were incriminating evidence and shipped it out of my sight.

The color matches a coat the swap recipient has trouble matching. She loves it. Everyone loved it before I sent it. Everyone in the swap loves it. All this panick wasted. Captain will tell you that is frequently the case with me. (That is because Captain is a smug little know-it-all).

I had no idea what to expect from my swap giver. I almost didn’t care. Almost. I was just so relieved that my part of the whole thing was complete. My package arrived a week or so after I sent the feather and fan out. Inside was a simple garter stitch scarf of a good length and a cozy yarn. I call it the Scotty Dog scarf due to the color. I wore it all day yesterday because it was packaged with homemade lotions and lipbalms and smelled absolutely fabulous.

I believe it was the cinnamon and sugar lotion that made the scarf smell so delicious. I may never wash the thing. Or if I wash the thing, I may have to confine it to a sealed bag with the bottle of lotion.

I do not often wear lipstick but I like lipbalm. I can safely say I did not expect lipbalms or lotions and it was a very pleasant surprise.

Now, I get to worry that I didn’t send enough goodies in my package. Just a card and a scarf. But it was a nice scarf?

I haven’t decided whether I will participate in another of these  – in spite of my vows. I was pleasantly surprised by my first. I have a love hate relationship with it right now. I think maybe I will participate again, down the road a piece.

Toxic Avengers

A handful of years ago, we attended a church fall festival in Biloxi, Mississippi. Teen Wolf, who was a few years away from hormones, won a live fish at this festival. Captain was convinced the fish wouldn’t live a week and dubbed this goldfish “Floater.” Teen Wolf named the fish Tom F. – the “F” standing for floater of course. I too thought it was likely the fish would die, remembering such won prizes of my youth. However, I was determined to try my best to keep it alive.

Tom F. lived. He grew large. He made friends with other goldfish. Tom lived a mostly happy existance – until Hurricane Katrina.

I do not remember why we didn’t take the fish with us. Maybe we thought it was going to hit New Orleans more directly as the news casts predicted. Maybe we didn’t have the room, or the time. Maybe we thought that with Captain at the base only a few miles away the fish would be okay so long as the apartment stood. Whatever the reason, we left the fish there. Captain was unable to leave the base for days. The fish had no power, no airation, probably not enough food after a time. They died. All but one.

Captain packed the lone survivor into the car when he was able to join us in South Carolina for a while. The car broke down along the highway and Captain had to walk a few miles, lugging a small fish aquarium with the last fish. The events proved too tragic for the fish and he too died.

Teen Wolf sometimes asks if he could have fish again and met the standard parent vague answers that almost sound like a yes but are really more like that “Ask Again Later” side of an 8 ball response. This year I decided we were ready (and far enough inland) to get new fish. Meet the Toxic Avengers:

These are zebrafish that have been enhanced with a naturally flourescent gene. They are called “Glofish.” They come in three colors. Originally developed to help detect pollution in water, the fish have helped in understanding cellular disease development, and in cancer and gene therapies. They are especially colorful in a tank with a blue or black light. Ours have a regular daylight but we would like to get a blue light at some point. It makes their colors stand out more without being garish like they appear in the blacklight.

They are very quick darters that travel as a school. It is fun to watch them zip around the tank in never ending games of tag or follow the leader.

In addition to 12 Glofish – four of each color – we also gave a home to Mr. Miyagi who is actually a Chinese algae fish in spite of his Japanese name. Mr. Miyagi spends a lot of his time hiding out in the tower of the castle. He has claimed this as his domain and lurks there.

In addition to the castle, there is a small bridge, a number of pretend plants, a broken open treasure chest and Teen Wolf’s favorite, in honor of his daddy, the army men.

We love to catch Mr. Miyagi sucking the back of the army men’s heads. “Brainsucker!”

Quick Update

My computer is dead. I’ve been busy shipping parts under warranty back to manufacturers to try to figure out which part is faulty. The symptoms could be a result of any of these major parts (power supply, processor, motherboard, ram, etc). Eventually I guess I’ll get the right part replaced. I’ll have a brand new computer by the time I get it working again at this rate.

My car keeps breaking down on me. So that’s taking up a lot of my time and energy too. I’m still knitting. Looking at teaching in January still. Pretty excited.

Thinking about doing the master knitter thing.

I’ll have a better update soon – promise. It is D&D time so I have to go!

Greetings My Lords & Ladies

I went to a Renaissance Fair with the Young Writer’s Club this weekend. It was quite an impressive set up. The stalls all looked like cottage buildings and inns. There were multiple acts, jousting, giant turkey legs, Vegetable Justice (you throw tomatoes at a jester), whips, horses, hounds, staves, swords, juggling fire, and lots and lots of people dressed up. Some of those dressed up were a little bit out of the time period but it was still fun to see.

This is the place where most of my money ended up. Well, a fair share. Wooden swords and shields and such.

The front yard is now the location of many a sword fight.

There were lots of little acts scattered amongst the crowd.

This guy and his partner were quite funny. In this part of the act his partner was singing that it was a nice day for a white whipping (instead of white wedding of course – Billy Idol song).

They also had a lot of silly jokes. Like what line do a pirate and a pimp have in common? “Yo ho!”

This person was very very still.

Here were the royalty dubbing knights.

Teen Wolf has some new weaponry. I have a stave and a nice ring of flowers. I would have added an ocarina but I didn’t want to spend both arms and legs – just the one of each.

 

How You Look In Bad Lighting

It took some time but I finally found the right combination of yarn, needles and pattern for the swap project. I learned that the yarn I picked out was sold here locally and right under my nose but I missed it somehow. I intend to make another scarf with the Hempathy and I’ll buy it from the local store.

The color in this picture is a little yellowed out because of the inside lighting (it is night as I type this). I’m really happy with the drape and color of the yarn and the way the lace pattern is turning out. I had a patch several inches ago where it seemed like I kept making mistakes and having to tink my way back far too often but I seem to be over that now and making pretty good progress. I’m completely relieved to have something that looks and feels attractive in a style that should be pretty classic and appeal to anyone.

Several people noticed me working on the project at the local store earlier this week. There are several people curious about knitting lace around here. Most people assumed the pattern was complicated and mutter in skeptical tones when I assured them it was a very easy pattern. “Easy according to her,” they would say with a sideways glance at each other. I’m not about to completely disabuse them of this very high opinion they seem to have formed about my lace knitting abilities. As a result, I am starting to put together some ideas and patterns to knit up for different levels of lace knitting classes I will be holding after the whole hubbub of Christmas is over.

This means I really better get to work finishing Christmas projects so that I can get my samples made.

Danger is My Middle Name

I had a dental appointment today. I have spent a fair bit of time staring at his wallpaper as of late. It is supposed to look like a white marble with streaks of red. When you sit there looking at it long enough and throw in a dash of white coat anxiety it starts to look an awful lot like dingy white with slashes of dried blood.

It probably wasn’t wise of me to ask him who picked out the wallpaper and then proceed to explain that it looks like a butcher house which might set off extra anxiety in his more nervous clientelle.

His dental assistant looked at it thoughtfully and said she’d never thought of it that way. My dentist defended his wallpaper choices by explaining about the cost and the texture and how it matches the floor and how he had several people sort of take a vote on a small sample of choices. He didn’t shred my mouth or get a little drill happy in spite of the fact he obviously didn’t appreciate my sense of humor. I wish I would have thought to take a quick phone camera shot.

The Feather & Fan Is Like A Card Game

I decided to keep the Pacman bag. I will remove the orange ghost and add one of the better felted ghosts (blue or red) in his place. I’ll try to straighten the snap a little and sew in the lining. I’ll see if I can adjust the bottom so that it doesn’t raise up in an odd way when I close the bag. It’s such a specialized thing I wouldn’t want to give it to someone who might not like video games. I also hated giving something made of 100% wool to a person who does not like animal fiber.

I pulled up a feather and fan pattern and went to the store to look for a vegan friendly yarn. The local shop had very little in the way of cotton. They had plenty of Vanna’s Choice acrylic. I decided to try that.

I dislike the feel of acrylic. I dislike the way it is stiff on the needles. I dislike the way it is stiff on the project. I know there are some nice acrylic blends out there but the %100 acrylic, while vegan friendly, is not DNL friendly. I picked out three colors but settled on two when I got home. I cast on.

The thing was 14 inches wide. I was knitting it on needles two sizes smaller than the yarn called recommended. So it was a very tight 14 inches. I kept knitting thinking that they could fold it in half. The more I knitted the more I disliked it (again with the disliking). It was too wide, too tightly knit to show off the pattern, and way too stiff to fold. My recipient would look like she was being choked by an afghan.

It was too small for a blanket and too big for a scarf. It was back to the drawing board.

(I just realized I took a photo of the back side of the thing but that’s okay).

I frogged the blankarf. Don’t worry, it will be recylcled into a baby blanket. The pattern will show more on bigger needles and acrylic will be nice and washable for baby. I will throw in the navy blue too. My neighbor is expecting soon. The colors are a little nontraditional but I would think the parents might be happy to have something outside of the pastel family.

Yesterday, I stopped by Knit since I was in Charleston for Teen Wolf’s doctor’s appointment (he has high cholesterol for his age…great…he’s not a fat kid and I didn’t think he ate that poorly but his father and grandfather have the same issue, so I’m thinking genetics). I explained that I was looking for a fingering weight (no more thick stuff) in something with no animal fiber. They told me the sheep were not killed for the wool. I agreed that they were not and said that sometimes the sheep are mistreated, so maybe that was the issue. I wasn’t there to argue whether the vegan stance was valid. They showed me some hemp/cotton mixes. They were all pretty sedate.

I chose the color that called to me most. A natural, earthy kind of color and material mix. I hope this appeases vegans everywhere but especially the one who will get this thing.

I noticed that my feather and fan didn’t look like other feather and fans – like the one hanging at Knit. I wondered at this.

It seems that the simple feather and fan has a number of varieties – like a card game. You can do a knit 1, 2 and 4th rows with the fancy stuff in 3rd. Or you can do a knit 1 and 4th with a purl at 2 and fancy at 3rd. Or some purl variety at 2. Even the third row can vary in how many k2togs used.

I like the more rippled look you get from the purl varieties. However, I think that would create a more defined “right” and “wrong” side. I think the k2tog varieties just make the curve between the holes smaller or more even with the yarn over holes.

Which one to choose…which one to choose?

UPDATE: I went with the Wendy Knits version of the feather and fan. The Hempathy yarn felt a little weird and stringlike at first but now that I’ve got it going I really like the way it looks. Very natural, earthy, go green. It feels and looks ever so much better. I finally have a project I can be proud of. Huzzah. It is a great relief.

Craft Suck

I am participating in my first crap swap. The swap is meant to show off your talents and inspire others with your craft.

I started out very excited about the swap. I decided I would try my first felted project by making a handbag. I wanted to do a retro arcade theme and settled on Pacman. I chose a basic bag pattern and added my own design elements. I wanted stripes in the colors of the ghosts. I wanted an appliqued pacman and ghosts near the top of the bag moving along a row of button pellets. I ordered my yarn and waited.

The first sign of trouble was the day the yarn arrived. I miscalculated the yardage because I forgot I would be double stranding. Next, the teal blue ghost yarn did not look very much like the picture – ah the hazards of buying yarn online. I decided to vary the width of some of the stripes and add a thick yellow stripe to represent pacman. That fixed the yardage issue. The blue would just have to do.

The unfelted bag looked pretty good. The blue was off but otherwise it looked pretty good. The excitement level was still pretty high. Next came felting. Somewhere in here I learned my swap person was vegan and didn’t really care for wool. I chose wool for its superior felting. So, I started to feel a little unsure about the project.

This was my first mitered edge. I actually liked the way that turned out a lot. It was a little tricky getting the needles where they needed to go while working in the round when it got to the end but it gave the bag a nice flat bottom. I did my first three needle bind-off and loved it. It was easy and looked great.

I learned my washing machine is not ideal for felting (front loader). I also learned that the thing spins at some point in the rinsing cycle EVEN IF YOU PUT IT ON NO SPIN. I ran it through about three times to get the nice fuzzy business it should have.

While the bag had a nice fuzzy look it also had a nice dingy look. I had worried the colors would bleed and I’d have a nice big mess but I should have been more worried about how the felting black in between bright colors was going to create a nice dingy appearance. The bag was nice and fuzzy but it also looked old and dirty. The pink, orange and yellow especially looked dingy. It might not have been so bad if I hadn’t ran the lines of black in between the colors. I also felt like maybe I should have just did the whole bottom in yellow instead of switching back to black. At this point, I really started to have second thoughts about the whole thing but I’d already invested the money and the time so I kept trudging along.

I felted little swatches to use to make ghosts and a pacman. I don’t think I felted the swatches long enough. I ran them through the washer, one at a time, for 2 1/2 loads and they looked okay until I tried to cut shapes out of them. They had this odd fuzzy look. I whip stitched them on to the bag and added some button pellets. In spite of having this weird fluffy look, the pacman and the pellets looked pretty good. I didn’t really like the way the ghosts looked though.

Trying to satin stitch eyes onto super fluffy appliqued ghosts was like…well I’ve had a headache for three days and can’t come up with an adequate comparison. It was difficult. And it sucked. It was hard to make them stand out. The satin stitches disappeared.

The pink one turned out a little better than the orange one but the pink one is like sewn on crooked. They both look ridiculous and I considered pulling them loose and just leaving the pacman. I hated to lose the detail though. Would anyone realize the stripes were supposed to be the colors of the ghosts without any on the bag?

I decided to sleep on it.

I decided to keep the stupid ghosts when I woke up. I focused on the stabilization. I used one of those plastic canvases to create washable stabilizer for the front, back and bottom of the bag. I sewed those pieces together and then sewed them to the inside of the bag.

I was pretty happy with the amount of stability this provided. It holds up the sides well and will help keep the bag’s shape better when the user puts things in it. Assuming of course they put anything in it. Assuming they don’t just deposit it and its dirty wool and ridiculous ghosts in the nearest trash receptical. I was starting to feel more certain they would.

The next thing to do was make the lining. The directions I found for lining bags didn’t quite make sense. Line up the whats where? Do these numbers add up? I had no idea, so I winged it. It seemed to go pretty well.

I have not sewn in the lining yet, just pinned it and attached the magnetic snap. One piece of the snap seems just slightly off-center. The closed bag makes the yellow stripe raise up on one side and not the other. I can’t readjust because the snaps are attached to the stabilizer which is already sewn into the bag. I’m hoping that my recent thought that the bag won’t do that if there are actually things in it holds up.

I just can’t decide. I mean besides the fact it is made of wool, my person may hate retro arcade game things, the thing is also dingy, seemingly slightly lopsided and the orange ghost looks especially retarded. Keep the bag and try to hurry up and come up with something I can knit up or bake up or otherwise make in some fashion out of acrylics and without animal products of any sort… or stop being such a damned perfectionist? I never really know if I’m just being the usual me and expecting it to be completely without flaw as if I thought I were God or something…or if it is as ugly as I think it is.

Magic Loop of Doom

When knitters gather it is inevitable for someone to talk about double-pointed needles vs the magic loop method. Double-pointed needles are usually the villains in this oft-repeated saga – their porcupine-like protrusions and dreaded ladders making them the bane of knitting. The magic loop method is the knight in shining, flexible armor ready to save the day. I try to school my face to be still but my lips always purse just a little bit and I’m quite certain my left brow twitches.

I simply do not share this hatred of the dpn. In fact, I love my toothpick thin needles. I love having a porcupine in my lap. I love walking around the four needles. I love the strange looks you get from people who do not knit when they see them – a mix of awe and admiration as if you were juggling chain saws (well maybe not quite THAT much admiration and awe). Ok, maybe I’m just an attention whore but let’s consider the main arguments:

1. The magic loop is faster.

Is it? Is it really? I began my Sapphire Reading Cowl after nearly freezing to death at Teen Wolf’s last soccer game using the magic loop method. Magic loop for the uninitiated is a way of knitting small circumference items on a circular needle. There are a ton of videos demonstrating the method, so I will not describe it in any detail here. Once you get to the end of the needle, you have to readjust the stitches and cables for both needles before you can begin the next row. I can just turn the corner with my dps without any real adjustments beyond the normal sliding the stitches a little closer to the end of the left needle.

You know those commercials where the actors are about as clumsy as a person could possibly be? Spilling their noodles everywhere, dropping pans, fumbling and breaking everything? That’s how I imagine these magic loop groupies using dpns – stitches sliding off both ends, needles breaking, fingernails breaking, yarn twisted and tied around their necks. I’m sure that’s not really the case – well sort of sure.

2. There are fewer ladders using the magic loop method.

Ok. Yes. I suppose there are fewer ladders using the magic loop. Ladders are the gaps that occur when you cross over to another needle when knitting in the round. Magic loop knitting divides the stitches in half, so you have the potential for ladders in two places. There are three to four potential ladder places on the dpn (depending on whether you are using 4 or 5). I can see how two might sound better than four or five ladders per row. However, the problem is not with the number of places you might have ladders. It is a problem with the knitting.

A knitter need only improve their technique to vanquish all ladders regardless of whether they are knitting using magic loop or dpns. The method that works for me is as follows:

I make sure the left needle is above the right needle (the needle you just finished, or the old needle as I like to call it when working in the round). I pull the first stitch as tight as possible to form a cross with the new needle and the old needle. I use my middle finger to provide added support and tension. You must keep that tension super tight as you knit the second stitch almost as tight as the first. Relax for the remainder of stitches on your left needle. Just remember really, really tight on the first couple stitches when moving across needles – everything else may well just be superstition.

3. There are fewer needles to keep track of when you use the magic loop.

Ok, I will give the magic loopers this one. Grudgingly. I think this sounds like an organizational issue more than a problem with dpns but it is a fact that you only have one needle with the magic loop method and four or five dpns. A work-in-progress needle protector is a great way to keep all your dpns together when working on a project. It also protects them from breaking.

All in all, it is a matter of knitting in the way that makes you feel most comfortable – even if it is the loops of magic. This knitter prefers her porcupines over lassoes. I pulled the stitches off my magic loop and put them back on dpns where I happily knitted away until I had a nice warm fuzzy for my neck. I just ask that you magic loopers quit casting my poor dpns as the arch nemesis of knitting when there are infinitely better choices (pets, work, nupps, people who think knitting is for old ladies – just to name a few).

Jawbreaker Crits Mouth for 1d10

This morning I woke up bright and early, gathered up my son and drove to Charleston. He had an appoinment with a specialist. A series of bloodtests, an ultrasound, a diet he’s ready to choke me over, a couple prescriptions and more appointments for more diagnostics later, and we were on our way. This is most likely a lot of precautionary ruling-out of things which will lead to monitoring diet until we figure out what’s triggering his problems.

I drove him directly to the Green Dragon after all this torment. The Green Dragon is a store where they sell lots of miniature figures, die of many sides, tiny little bottles of energy drink made to look like potions, dragon in ceramic and pewter galore, interesting board games, movies, comic books, card games, tons of roleplaying guides and other generally neat stuff. I’m playing Dungeon Master at a D&D party for him and three of his friends tomorrow. They are all very excited. They’ve been working on their player character’s background stories – brainstorming and tossing various ideas. I let him get a new set of red die for the party.

Then we met ControlFreak (by which I mean my mother-in-law but not because she is a control freak in the obvious sense of the word – though she can be (ha!) – but because she sells Beauticontrol products. They are nice, they are. If you are in the market for skin care stuff follow the link and buy stuff from her) for her birthday lunch. Unfortunately, it took us too long to break free of doctor stuff and we didn’t realize the place she wanted to eat closed very early. We had to go with plan B which was still pretty tasty. I gave her the Robin’s Egg Mitts. She loves teal. I mean, loves it. Like, I wouldn’t be surprised if everything was teal when we visit next week for round two of doctor’s for Teen Wolf. I was very elusive about who those were for when I was knitting them.

We also visited her knitting store. They just happened to be about to start a sit and knit. Teen Wolf decided to be kind and let me stay for a little while. What a nice bunch of ladies! What a nice spread. Nice shop. Nice seats. Nice workers. Nice yarns. Amazing teachers there knitting. So many lace experts. They had crackers and cookies and homemade dips and fruits and WINE. They had WINE. It was fancy! I was impressed and jealous – very very jealous. I may have to try to get more of his appointments on their sit and knit night.

One of the ladies was their lace teacher. She was working on a Queen Silvia. I think she could knit nupps in her sleep. I may have to stalk her when I pick up the Triinu People Eater again. So far the only thing it’s eating is me. I was also lead to a nice beginner lace pattern (Peasant Shawl – free here) that I might try to put together to teach at my local store. Simple pattern with enough lacey hole parts at the edge to wow.

Our last stop was Cracker Barrel but not for food. I wanted to find a silver lining in the long list of things he cannot eat for a while…and bought him some hard candy. A little hard candy is okay. We got huge jawbreakers! Just look at that thing. It makes my jaw hurt just thinking about it.

Look! There is a little Dragon in my Dragon’s N Lace today. Mmmm nerdy.

Update: ControlFreak emailed me a bad link! I figured out what it should have been and corrected it though.